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We receive dozens of items of a humorous nature each month, often forwarded to us by classmates.
Most are circulating on the Internet without the original source or author known. ....Here are a few items relating to our state, era, or sentiments.... |
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Application for South Dakota Citizenship
Name ___________________son Sex: ___ Ole ___ Lena Home Address ________________ Cabin Address ________________ Religion: _____ Lutheran ______ Catholic Income: ___We do OK ____We're Blessed ____ None of your beeswax ____ Qualifications: (check all that apply) ___ I own a gas powered ice auger ___ I can name a dozen celebrities who've stayed in Sioux Falls. ___ I've been trick or treating in two feet of snow. ___ My grandmother made me eat lutefisk. ___ I liked it! ___ I've been to a block party. ___ My first beer was an Old Milwaukee. ___ My snowmobile has more miles on it than my car. ___ I have a back up set of jumper cables in my trunk. ___ My second beer was an Old Milwaukee. ___ Despite what everyone else says I DON'T HAVE AN ACCENT! True/ False: ___ I actually listen to telemarketers. ___ "Have a Nice Day" is an ORDER! ___ TV news anchors are celebrities. ___ Part of my tongue is on a flagpole somewhere. ___ It's not a rubber binder! It's a rubber band. ___ They mistake pop for "soda" or "coke" in most other states. ___ Hot Dish is neither a beautiful woman nor an overheated plate. ___ Paw is both a hand and the male parent. Multiple Choice It's time to wear a hat when: A) The temperature is below 10 degrees. B) Your mother tells you to! C) The temperature is -10 and the wind chill is in double digits. Essay Questions 1. What "uff-da" means to me ____________________ 2. What "oopsy daisy" means to me _______________ |
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Your Probably from South Dakota...
and then sitting there all day hoping your dinner will swim by... If you're proud your region made national news 96 nights last year for being the coldest spot in the country... If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March... If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there... If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead... If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time... If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed... You Know Your From South Dakota When... 2. "Vacation" means going to Sioux Falls for the weekend. 3. You measure distance in hours. 4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. 5. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day. 6. You use a down comforter in the summer. 7. You drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching. 8. You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events. 9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked. 10. You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye and brats. 11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time. 13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit. 14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pj's. 16. You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. 17. It takes 3 hrs. to go to the store for an item even when rushed because you stop & talk to everyone in town. 18. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from South Dakota. |
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History Exam...
1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located? a. On the floor shift knob b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch c. Next to the horn 2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used? a. Capture lightning bugs b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing c.Large salt shaker 3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters? a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top. 4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance? a. Blackjack b. Gin c. Craps 5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II? a. Suntan b. Leg painting c. Wearing slacks 6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going? a. Studebaker b. Nash Metro c. Tucker 7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid? a. Strips of dried peanut butter b. Chocolate licorice bars c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside 8. How was Butch wax used? a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust 9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes? a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key b. Woven straps that crossed the foot c. Long pieces of twine 10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision? a. Consider all the facts b. Ask Mom c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo 11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's? a. Smallpox b. AIDS c. Polio 12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey" a. SUV b. Taxi c. Streetcar 13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony? a. Old Blue b. Paint c. Macaroni 14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill? a. Part of the game of hide and seek b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill. 15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show? a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring b. Princess Sacagawea c. Princess Moonshadow 16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school? a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid your failure 17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases? a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos 18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________? a. Meatballs b. Dames c. Ammunition 19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit? a. The Ink Spots b. The Supremes c. The Esquires 20. Who left his heart in San Francisco? a. Tony Bennett b. Xavier Cugat c. George Gershwin ------------- ANSWERS --------------- 1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60s to catch on. 2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron? 3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top. 4. a) Blackjack Gum. 5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil. 6. a) 1946 Studebaker. 7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water. 8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut. 9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck. 10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo. 11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease. 12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight! 13. c) Macaroni. 14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill. 15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet. 16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high. 17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp Store. 18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free. 19. a) The all male, all black group: The Inkspots. 20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today. -------------SCORING------------------- 17 - 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely a GEEZER! 12 - 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy. 0 - 11 correct: You are a sad excuse for a geezer or you are younger than springtime! |
Things I Didn't Know
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